


Mr. Quackers

by Impala_Dreamer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, F/M, NSFW, Novelty Condoms, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 08:13:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16850410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Dreamer/pseuds/Impala_Dreamer
Summary: ~Some things are better left in the back of your nightstand…~





	Mr. Quackers

“Fuck, Y/N/N…” Dean’s hands were on your ass, fingers digging in, trying to sneak underneath your panties as you rocked in his lap. “You’re making me crazy.”

Nibbling on his earlobe, you hummed against him. He sucked in a deep breath as you pulled away slowly, taking the sensitive flesh with you. “That’s kinda the point, Big Boy.” You pressed down hard on his crotch and Dean moaned loudly; his grip tightening on your bottom.

“Baby…” A hot breath against your neck. “I…” Dean jerked his hips upwards; the thin fabric covering you both doing little to hide his desire. “Need you. Now.”

“OK,” you whispered, returning to his lips for a deep kiss that closed his eyes and pulled his hands up your back. “Gimmie two seconds.”

Dean gasped as you hopped out of his lap, staring up at you with pathetically wide eyes. “Wha-where ya goin’?”

You were already at the door when he managed to ask and you spun around with a smile. “I gotta pee. You get ready. I’ll be right back, I swear!”

“Oh come on!” Dean moaned, chewing the corner of his lip as you opened the door, ready to rush down the hall. “Hey! Wait! I need a thingy!”

With a laugh, you pulled yourself back into the room and nodded at the bedside table. “Check the nightstand, dude, where they always are.”

Dean mumbled something as you scurried off to take care of a few things before getting down to business. You heard him chuckle faintly but paid it no mind; the hallway was freezing and you really had to go.

 

Refreshed and ready to rumble, you sauntered back into the room, licking your lips and narrowing your eyes seductively. Dean was in bed as you’d left him, but rearranged up by the headboard, his shirt tossed away, the sheet covering his lower half. The tent made you smile.

“Looks like you didn’t miss me too much,” you teased, waltzing in casually and shutting the door behind you.

He grinned and gave a little shrug. “It was hard but I managed.”

“I hope it’s still hard.” You eyed the stiff sheet and winked.

“Oh, it is.”

“Good.”

With a sly smile, you tore your top off and shimmied out of your drawers, giving your ass a little wiggle as you stripped for him. Dean watched on with intense interest at your display and hummed happily as you climbed into bed.

“Come here, Baby,” he cooed, opening his arms as you got close.

His kiss was delicious and it left you wanting more. Snaking a hand down his smooth chest, you dipped below the sheet and…

“Huh?”

His dick felt… weird. There was too much… rubber on the tip…

“Dean… what did you…”

He laughed and shrugged as you backed up and pulled the sheet away, revealing a bright yellow, rubber duckie shaped novelty condom adorning is otherwise beautiful cock.

“What the fuck!” Your laugh was unstoppable, bubbling up from your gut as you stared on in amazement. His erection was adorable yet frightening, with painted blue eyes and an orange beak.

“You like? I found it in the back of the drawer.” Dean shook his hips a bit and the duck bounced, bobbing as if it were floating in a bathtub.

There was no way you could stop laughing. Upon closer inspection, the duck even had pretty eyelashes and a smile curling up on both sides. It was the most ridiculous thing you’d ever seen. Between gasping breaths, you explained the penile-costume was a gag gift from your best friend’s bachelorette party a few years ago; something you never thought you’d see on a human penis.

“Well how would I know!” he defended as you cackled at his quickly waning erection.

“It’s a fucking rubber duckie, Dean. Come on!”

“I think it looks cute,” he said with a frowning smirk, rolling over to attack you and move things along.

You fought him back with a playful smack on the shoulder. “Hell no, you are not sticking that duck in me!”

“Come on, bay-bay…” he teased, rubbing the beak against your leg. “Duckie wants to swim.”

You fought him off as best you could, still battling fits of laughter. “No! No duckies!”

“Mr Quackers is lonely…”

“Mr Quackers is about to get a knee to the beak!”

Again, Dean rubbed up against you, this time slipping between your thighs as you fumbled to get away from him. The rubber squeaked slightly and you gagged, thinking of the pretty eyelashes sweeping over your pussy.

“Nope! Out! Take it off!”

Finally, Dean relented and rolled away, yanking the poor duck from his dick. “OK,” he said with a laugh, “OK, relax. Mr Quackers is gone.” A flick of his wrist sent the poor thing flying across the room.

“Oh my god, Dean, that was ridiculous.”

It took a moment for you both to calm down and for the image of the cock duck to squeegee itself from your eyeballs. When your breathing settled, Dean snuggled close, running his fingers gently up from your calf to hip.

“You alright?” he asked, peppering your cheek with tiny kisses.

“I think so,” you hummed, reaching for his neck, wanting him close. You caught his lips and sank your tongue between them, rekindling the fire once more.

“Mmm… I think we’re ready to try again.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded and pecked his lips a final time.

“Good,” he said, rolling over to reach for the nightstand. “I think I saw a crocodile one in there…”

“Dean!”


End file.
